Mygreenweek

Why are Eco warriors bad at playing cards?

They like to avoid the flush.

17 trees are saved by every ton of existing paper that is recycled.  That means if we pulped every Harry Potter book we wouldn’t be able to see the sky for foliage.

Tom Cruise is about to sign up to a new, high-tech, eco thriller: Mission Compostable.

Through energy use the average home emits more harmful CO2 gas than the average car.  That’s probably because at home your battery doesn’t run flat if you leave the lights on.

A parish priest is to offer ‘eco-sinners’ the chance to confess in what is thought to be the first ‘green’ confessional booth.  Obviously you can’t confess all your sins in one go but must separate bottle, paper and plastic confessions.

Argos, a catalogue retail business in the United Kingdom, has recently launched a new environmental program called CARES. This is a staff campaign to increase awareness of the environment. Customers are also being encouraged to consider the environment - after all they have hour upon hour to do this while they sit in the Argos outlets waiting for their catalogue purchases to be dug out of the storeroom.

China is now building about two power stations every week, the top climate change official at the UK Foreign Office, John Ashton, has said.  That’s the thing with Chinese.  You have one that seems satisfying but you want another one soon after.

By 2070 the hole in the ozone layer over Antartica could be largely fixed.  The only drawback is they can’t find a cheap enough scaffholder to quote for the job.

A day of paying for parking spaces and then putting turf in them and using them for leisure activities went smoothly except for one incident.  A couple who had turfed a pay and display space were told by a warden that they had not displayed their ticket prominently enough and would have to decide on an appropriate place to stick it.  They were both arrested soon after the warden was taken to casualty to have the ticket removed.

It was a wet summer across Ireland and now climate experts are predicting 50 years of rain.  One Irish weatherman said he was out of a job until 2057 and reminded viewers not to forget to take a brolly with them for the next half century.